Challenged To The Core - Kathi Brixey

Many years ago we had a summer missionary come and stay with us for a few days. Over the course of the summer she frequented our home a lot because she and our oldest daughter hit it off and became fast friends. She and our daughter loved to banter back and forth with my husband Del. It would get quite lively more often than not. However, one time when Meredith couldn’t think of a comeback quick enough she responded with “Oh Del, know your role!” It got a great big laugh and to this day we use this saying when appropriate. Many times I have used it, not in frustration, but rather as words of encouragement. This phrase has also caused me to think about one of my favorite verses in the Bible, one which I have used in my ministry to other women.

In Titus 2:3-5 it says “Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” Wow, those are powerful words. What do they mean to you? Are you one of the older women or perhaps one of the younger ones? Let’s say you are one of the older ones for arguments sake, what is God commanding of us here in this text? Well, pretty much word for word exactly what it says. We are to be all those things that God commands us to teach the younger women. You can’t teach what you don’t know and practice. We must also be diligent in the “practicing” because everything that we do is, whether we like it or not, being watched and evaluated to see if it holds true. That is a lot of responsibility isn’t it? Not only are we to teach, we are to model, that’s the “practice” part. If I were to sit down and write out a math problem for a 4 year old child of “2 + 3 = 5”, it might not make sense to them, but if I put down two apples on one side of the table and three on the other and then showed the child that if we put them together we would get five, well you get the picture. Most of us are visual learners and almost all of us need to have things proven before we believe. This is why salvation by faith eludes some people. They want tangible proof and faith is not tangible, but as Christians we are the tangible fingers and hands of God ministering to people. We are not perfect by any means but we can make a sincere effort to model the appropriate way to be a good wife and mother, a good Christian and friend.

So what if you fall into the “younger” category, what are you to do? I got married at the ripe old age of eighteen and being a bit foolish, I was out to prove that I could do this thing called “marriage” on my own. Besides I couldn’t count on my friends who were not married and I wasn’t going to ask my mother for advice because we weren’t close back then. For the most part I did “ok”, but I could have done phenomenally better had I had someone to show me how to be a good wife and then a mother. I did learn a lot from my mother; don’t get me wrong, she just wasn’t who I would have turned to because of our “strained” relationship. I love her so much and we have a very good relationship now. Because of my experience I have tried to teach our son and daughters many things related to running a “household”, but more importantly how to make it a “home” by modeling these things for them. We have had conversations on being a good friend and what that looks like. What the Lord expects from them and what their role is in His kingdom work here on earth. Have I completed my role as their mother? No of course not, I will be teaching our children and grandchildren until the day I go home to be with the Lord. I pray that after I’m gone they will reflect back and think of all the things we spoke of and draw wisdom and strength from them and remember to seek the Lords will for their lives.

The Lord made my role as our children’s mother clear to me long ago through reading the scripture and from some wonderful women who took Titus 2:3-5 very seriously, to them I say “thank you” many times over. God created women to have strength and wisdom as they nurture the family. They can bring stability to the family even in the midst of chaos. The old saying, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”, is pretty accurate even though it’s not biblical. Stand firm and be the example your husband and children expect to see. It can be very daunting, but it will reward you in dividends you will never be able to fathom. They will last an eternity. So, “know your role” and don’t forget to “check your pulse” as you fulfill God’s purpose and plan for your life.