A FULL CONTACT MARRIAGE

  "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be
 united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24

Trying to find a movie that both you and your spouse want to watch “together” can actually change the weather in your home. Perhaps you’ve had a wonderful day enjoying each other’s company, but storm clouds can blow in quickly when your spouse wants to watch a re-run of some “sappy love story” and you are dead set on revisiting the greatest “shoot-um up”, beat-um up” and “blow-um up” war flick that was ever made. Does this sound familiar? One of you will either compromise…spending the next few hours in total agony or perhaps you will agree to disagree and spend the evening in different rooms watching your own “favorite” by yourself. Either decision or several others can be acceptable. However, marriage is a “full contact” sport; physically, mentally and spiritually. And when couples start messing with God’s design of being “united” as “one flesh” life can get ugly fast. Here are a few tips on how to have a “full contact” marriage.
 
Physical Contact - “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” 1 Corinthians 7:3-5. Sex is one of the greatest gifts that God has given a man and a woman in the context of marriage. The process of becoming “one flesh” is strengthened by this powerful bond. Sex is also one of Satan’s greatest weapons to destroy a marriage. If he can lure either spouse into “unfaithfulness” a wedge is formed that brings extreme pain. Their “one flesh” is symbolically “ripped” apart. Couples who have “pre-marital” sexual relationships are devastated and wounded when they break up. They actually need to allow God to “heal” their wounds, and establish appropriate boundaries before meeting someone new. In a healthy marriage both spouses need to protect this point of contact by fostering a healthy sex life that is mutually satisfying. God created sex to bless and strengthen our marriages.
 
Mental Contact - “…But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." Genesis 2:20-23. Men and women need each other. God had created the first man Adam, but Adam was not complete until God did some “creative surgery” to create Eve from Adam’s rib. My wife and I always tease each other about sharing more than a rib; we also share a brain! Unfortunately, we both don’t get to use it on the same day. Couples need to understand the value that their spouse brings to the relationship. It’s not an accident that “opposites” attract. We complete each other in so many ways. When couples begin to lose “contact” with their spouse on a “mental” or “emotional” level no one wins. Be willing to share your thoughts and feelings with each other, especially in the tough times. By developing healthy ways to communicate you can avoid most problems that plague unhealthy marriages. Mutual affirmation, mutual accountability and mutual trust create an atmosphere of mutual respect.
 
Spiritual Contact - “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14. Spiritual compatibility is probably the most important of the three points of contact. If we are in tune with our spouse on a spiritual level, then the other areas of contact are almost a slam dunk. But how many times have you seen someone you know (or perhaps yourself) fall in love with someone who is not even in the same “ball park” spiritually. We can fall head over heels in love with someone who doesn’t share anything in common with us spiritually and try to justify it with all types of rationalizations. The most common is the myth that we can “change” them followed up by the myth that it doesn’t really matter. One compromise after another leads us down a road filled with heartache and eventually with children who usually grow up without any faith at all. A family who “prays together” is far more likely to “stay together”. Keep your faith in the fore front of your marriage; protect it, pursue it and ponder the deep questions of life together.    
 
A “full contact marriage” is loaded with potential. When two people are really connecting on all three points they can face life’s trials with confidence in God and their spouse. Check your pulse this week and determine if you have a “full contact marriage”. If you’ve been “sitting on the bench” (by yourself) in some area ask God how you can step up to the plate and make things happen. Remember, “PMS” is not always a bad thing. It could actually improve your marriage.