Challenged To The Core - Kathi Brixey

“Love” we throw that word around a lot these days. We love our favorite fast food place; we love our new car, or house, even the new song we just heard. What does the word “love” really mean? Webster’s dictionary says; “love is an intense affection for another person based on familiar or personal ties.” It goes on to say that love is based on shared experiences and interests; there are more definitions that you can read on your own. What is God’s definition of love? God tells us in 1 Corinthians 13 that love is all encompassing, that without love we are nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 is one of my favorite scriptures because it helps me keep a check on my heart in all areas of my life. It was especially important when our children were growing up. There were times when they were disobedient that God reminded me of His words on love and this scripture changed the way that I approached their discipline. Sometimes it may be the only thing that makes sense because as parents we will not always know what to do for our children. At that moment of complete frustration over whatever just happened, you want shake them until their teeth rattle, but then you remember that unconditional love never fails. This doesn’t mean that there aren’t still consequences for the offense; however we still need to temper discipline with love.

When a child wanders off at the department store, you panic because you think of all negative things that could happen, but when the child is found you don’t know whether to be angry with them or cry for joy at their safe return. Most often the parent drops to their knees and embraces the lost child and their anger flies out the door. What a tremendous example of God’s love for us. So often we as parents tend to react to our children rather than stopping what we’re doing, accessing the situation and then responding with the appropriate answer. Children need a lot of attention, this takes time and patience, parenting is a full time job!

We have talked a lot about the different steps to great parenting over the past few months, this last week however is the most important thing you can do as a parent. Learning and teaching unconditional love is paramount in life for both you and your children. 1 Corinthians 13:13 says; “And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” If love is the foundation for our salvation then surely it should be for parenting. God tells us in Revelations 3:19 that He rebukes and disciplines those He loves, that means that if He didn’t love us He wouldn’t discipline us. The same should be for us as parents with our children. It doesn’t hurt to remind them of this from time to time. I remember a time when my father came into my room to dispense some discipline and he told me that the punishment would hurt him more than me. Not until I had children of my own did I understand the true depth of that statement. It hurts to discipline our children because we want only the best for them, however without discipline there is no growth. Commitment to this process means to agree to sometimes be un-happy. As long as children know that they can depend on you to always be there and that you will always love them no matter what, they will thrive. They don’t need the latest video game and or the best toys on the market; they need you and you investing time in them.

Children are going to be children with their own personalities, likes and dislikes, their own way of doing things or not doing things, they are who God designed them to be. If you embrace their differences and encourage them to think outside the box, if you model for them the love God has for them you will truly be a standout parent. Perseverance builds character both in you and in your child. So don’t give up, don’t stop modeling, don’t stop loving them, and remember to be consistent. Character is not a gift, it’s a struggle. A challenge that I hope and pray you take seriously! In the end know that we can’t take wealth or things with us but what we leave behind, our legacy if you will, can be awesome adult children who are actively re-investing in their children just like you did with them.

I hope you have enjoyed this parenting series, and have been inspired to make your parenting or grand parenting a priority in your children’s lives. It has definitely reminded me of all God has and is doing in my life as a parent and grandparent. As you check your pulse this week, ask God for the wisdom to be the best parent ever and to be reminded daily that unconditional love never fails.