Coffee is my favorite beverage of choice in the morning or after a good evening meal. A good cup of coffee is like a healthy hug, it warms the heart and the soul. In fact, bad coffee would be “grounds for divorce” if I were in charge. Well, perhaps that’s a bit overboard, but good coffee beans and a good marriage both depend on the ground they are planted in for a successful blend. In scripture Jesus shares with us how important good “ground” is for planting. In the “parable of the sower” He explains that there are four types of “ground” that affect the quality of spiritual growth; “hard”, “rocky”, “thorny” and “good”. We need to carefully consider this “ground” or “dirt” principle when begin to plant the seeds of our marriage. So many people literally plant their lives in a relationship that has little or no chance of survival and then expect a miracle from God.

Damaged…people have been hurt along the path of life and need to experience emotional healing.

“Some people are like seed along the path, where the word is sown. As soon as they hear it, Satan comes and takes away the word that was sown in them.” Mark 4:15

Damaged people are not bad people, because we are all “damaged” in some form or fashion in our life. It’s the result of sin; ours or others. Traumatic experiences in our life or consequences from our poor choices can be the source of our “damage”. But regardless of the source, we need to experience healing before we even think about getting married. If we think that love will conquer our demons we are fooling ourselves and laying the foundation for failure. We must get the help we need before we can offer our life to another person in marriage.

Immature…people have no spiritual depth to withstand the rigors of a marriage relationship.

“Others, like seed sown on rocky places, hear the word and at once receive it with joy. But since they have no root, they last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, they quickly fall away.” Mark 4:16-17

Immature people tend to rush into marriage without considering the costs. They wake up some morning regretting what they have done. Then they compound the tragedy by making another impulsive decision to leave the marriage and “find” themselves or have an “affair” which often destroys any hope of restoration. An affair also increases the number of people who are hurt because of our immaturity. We need to grow up before we blow up our marriages. Whatever our issues are, they have to be dealt with before or after we can have any healthy relationship.

Risky…people have an agenda that doesn’t place God at the top of their list of priorities.

“Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful.” Mark 4:18-19

Risky people are immature as well, but they are on a mission in life. They know what they want and are bound and determined to get it regardless of the cost. Sometimes the cost is their health, their careers or even their marriages. When “things” become our “god” it’s not a pretty sight. We usually have to hit rock bottom before we will pay attention. Unfortunately, by the time we hit rock bottom there isn’t anyone around to pay attention to and/or we don’t have the energy to try. The emotional toll of “risky” living is enormous, but it has to be paid. Being spiritually bankrupt is humbling to say the least. However, hope is available to those who turn to God. God can meet every need of risky people as well. 

Tilled…people have spent time preparing for the lifelong commitment required in marriage.  
"Others, like seed sown on good soil, hear the word, accept it, and produce a crop--thirty, sixty or even a hundred times what was sown." Mark 4:20

Tilled people are not perfect; they are imperfect people who have taken the time and energy to prepare their lives for the responsibility of marriage. They depend on God just like everyone else, except they do it at the front end versus after the crash that comes from making impulsive decisions. Tilled people also experience problems in their marriage, but because of their preparation they know how to deal with them and both spouses have a mutual commitment to working things out.     

When you “check your pulse” this week don’t despair if discover that you have planted yourself in the wrong type of “dirt”, there is still hope. Our God who can turn water into wine is a terrific gardener. He knows how to work with any type of soil, all He needs is your permission and participation to start turning your marriage “dirt” into holy ground. And holy ground can warm your heart and soul better than any cup of coffee.