UNDER THE RADAR
“But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you,
 then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve…
but as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord."
 Joshua 24:15

World War II was the first time that radar was used to help navigate ships, guide planes and to detect enemy aircraft before they attacked. Pilots eventually discovered its limitations and learned that they could fly “under the radar” to avoid detection so they could successfully complete their mission. Marriages in our society today are under attack from all sides and the enemy is using its own type of “radar” to seek out those couples whom they can destroy. One of our goals is to train couples how to fly “under the radar” before their marriage is in trouble or how to limit the damage if they are already wounded.  Take a few moments to consider the elements of this tactical maneuver so you are prepared for victory against the enemy.   
 
Research the target...
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10
 
We need to understand that evil does exist. Evil also has many plans to destroy your marriage, but the main objective is to “divide and conquer”. When we ask couples what their number one problem is in their marriage, we often receive two completely different answers. It can be as simple as a difference of perspective on the same issue or couples can be concerned about issues that are poles apart. If you are experiencing trouble in your marriage be careful to “research the target” before you attempt any corrective action. By trying to fix something that your spouse doesn’t consider broke you may only be aggravating the problem. Success comes when you are both aiming at the same target.
 
Avoid conflict…
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18
 
One of your goals should also be to live in peace, remember the “divide and conquer” strategy mentioned earlier? How many times have you heard someone say that they want to “confront” their spouse about something that really bugs them? Confrontation is an aggressive act that creates tension not unity. Now, after saying that, I am not suggesting that the “issue” is not important or that it doesn’t need to be addressed; however the method we choose to resolve a problem is very important. A couple needs to establish “ground rules” on how to solve their problems. By planning ahead, a couple can eliminate a lot of stress and aggravation from their daily life. One of the “ground rules” should include learning how to have what we call a “fair fight”.  No, I’m not talking about wearing protective gear and boxing gloves, but there are healthy ways to disagree, such as discussing the issue at hand versus a long litany of former offences that have no bearing on the current situation. There are many other elements in a “fair fight” but the essence is to do everything “we” can to give “peace” a chance.
 
Determine to heal…
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” James 5:16
 
Mutual confession and prayer is a powerful tool to bring healing in a marriage. Our own marriage became far more successful when we determined that “divorce” was not an option, but a temporary separation did allow us to sort things out. The goal of solving any problem in a marriage has to be healing. When I mention this to people, I usually get questions like, “What about physical or emotional abuse?” or “Doesn’t the Bible sanction divorce in the case of adultery?” These are all good questions and there are no simple answers to cover each and every situation, except that you must protect yourself and your children if you are in harm’s way. The key is to make wise decisions. God does not take the marriage covenant lightly. When we stand before Him and pledge to “leave” our parents, “cleave” to our spouse alone and “become” one with them; physically, spiritually and emotionally, it’s a serious commitment. God never leaves or forsakes us, but there are times of separation from the closeness of the Holy Spirit until we choose to heal our relationship with Him.
 
Anxious moments...
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
 
Tension in the home is not a pretty sight; in fact it can be very debilitating. Improving or healing a marriage that is filled with tension is not for the faint of heart, it’s fraught with hard work and setbacks. When your life is on the line, your palm’s get sweaty, your heart beats faster and your ability to make good decisions can become impaired. That’s why it’s terribly important to plan your mission to fly “under the radar” carefully. Combat pilots have been trained to react to almost every conceivable situation, so that they don’t freeze up when things go wrong. Fortunately as Christians, God offers us “peace” that “transcends” the world’s ability to understand, if we only ask. We are able to remain calm in the midst of any storm and receive His wisdom when we need it (James 1:2-8).
 
Redeeming love…
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a.
 
Every mission has an objective; in our situation it’s “redeeming love”. We fly “under the radar” to protect or recapture the love of our spouse. When our country is victorious in battle we remember the heroic deeds that individual soldiers accomplished, but we raise the flag of victory. The same is true in our marriages. The flag of victory is the “redeeming love” that we experience when the mission is accomplished, not a record of who did what. It’s a love that says “I will live” for you each day as well as “I will die” for you. Redeeming love never fails…
 
Even if “redeeming love” never fails, people do. There are days when it’s down-right tough to live with your spouse. And there are days when you aren’t such a peach either, but we can all learn how to fly “under the radar” if we want to. As you “check your pulse” this week your mission, should you accept it, is to practice flying “under the radar” with your spouse; research your target, avoid conflict, determine to heal, pray during the anxious moments and enjoy the redeeming love of victory.  It can even be a secret mission, but don’t forget to celebrate by raising the flag of victory.