MENTORING MYTHS
 “Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live,
not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is
 good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands
 and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be
 kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign
 the word of God.” Titus 2:3-5

I was eleven years old and in the sixth grade, new to the neighborhood and new to the school. We were out on the playground getting ready to play baseball. All the children were instructed to line up in a line so the captains could pick their teams. Now if you have ever been in this situation you know the apprehensiveness that comes at that moment. “Will I be picked first, oh please, don’t let me picked last.” There I was a gangly blue eyed little girl with short unruly curly blond hair and a bit shy. I know those of you who know me can’t believe I was ever shy. However, the inevitable happened, no one knew me except some boys from my new neighborhood so I was left till last. Well, when it was finally my turn at bat there were two runners on base. My entire team moaned as I raised my bat, “it’s over we have lost, she’s just a girl.” The first two pitches were low and fast but the next one came slower and slightly higher I swung and hit the ball out to the outfield.  I made it to third base and two runners came in. I was elated and so was my team. What my new friends didn’t know then but quickly found out was that I had five brothers and I could play baseball as well as they could, they were really good teachers. Before I knew it there were a lot of girls at school who wanted me to teach them how to hit the ball like I did. Looking back as an adult I suppose I must have been a little sneaky not letting on that I could really play ball. I realized even at a young age that I could teach others by showing them or modeling. Later as a teenager I taught swimming lessons in our pool in the summer to make money. So I guess the “myth that children can’t mentor only learn” is busted!
 
When you watch small children play on the floor you will almost always observe one helping another learn how to play with a specific toy. Now, are they giving the other the toy and instructing them on how to use it; no, but what is happening is that while one child plays (models) the other watches (learning.) You see we all do it, we’re just not aware that others are watching us. As we grow and learn to live in this world we become very good at watching others, gleaning all we can to advance what we want to achieve in life. Most of us fail to realize that it’s not all about us. We want to be the “grasshopper” and achieve what our teacher has accomplished never thinking about who might be watching us. Another myth in mentoring is that it is hard and takes a lot of time. Well if you are going about your daily life while others are observing you, has it taken up your time? Has it put you in a position of adding time to your day? The answer to both questions is “no.” However the real questions are, “Are you intentional about what you are modeling?” and “Are you modeling a Godly life or a worldly life?”
 
As parents we know that our children watch us and we teach them how to play well with others, to study in school, to play their favorite sport, we even help them discover their musical talents, which can really test your patience as you applaud those squeaky horns and whining violins. We develop patience with our children because we love them. God commands us to love others as we love ourselves. This is easier said than done but can be accomplished when we learn to see others through the eyes of God.  We are all in different stages of development in our lives. We each have learned how to handle life in our own situations, so why not help others as they travel through theirs if our experience can save them heart ache? Isn’t that what we do as parents for our own children?

Mentoring doesn’t have to be hard or time consuming but it should always be intentional. Men and women alike, as Christians need to be seeking out ways to point others to God. When we truly fall in love with Christ we can’t help but want others to experience the same joy that we have. In today’s world there are those of us who have not had involved parents or mentors to show us the “ropes” in life if you will, so we don’t know how to go about mentoring. The first place to start is to seek out a mentor for you. What you look for in a mentor is a person who is a godly man or woman (men mentor men and women mentor women), whose life demonstrates their devotion to God. In other words their walk matches their talk.  Also this should be someone who has the time to devote to meeting with you on a semi-regular basis. It doesn’t have to be a long meeting just checking in to see how things are going. A good mentor can have several people that he or she mentors at one time. For some of us who mentor, it can be a life-long relationship, while others are short term. The point is that if you are to be a mentor you should first be mentored to see how it’s done.
 
"Mentors must be old and seasoned.” Wrong! Whether you are old or young you can mentor someone else either younger than yourself or sometimes depending on the situation even someone older. There is always someone who has been through life situations that can help another person if given the opportunity. The “myth” here is that you have to be a longtime Christian, which is wrong if you are in the Word. If you are asking for wisdom and discernment you can be a mentor and should step out in faith and obedience. As you decide to be a mentor, ask God for guidance in who He wants you to invest your life in. It is an investment. You will both travel together to a closer relationship with God. You may be surprised at how much you will learn in the process about yourself and the Lord. This is one of the most rewarding things you will do as a Christian. Investing in the life others for the Lord will never go unrewarded.
 
You are never investing in just one person, because that changed life in turn will invest in another, and then another and so it goes on and on!  When I was first diagnosed with M.S., I asked the Lord for the opportunity to live long enough to impact my grandchildren for Him and to plant the seeds so they would be able to impact their grandchildren for Christ. My intention was to leave a legacy that would go on for generations and beyond. This week, as you “check your pulse” see if there isn’t someone that God touches your heart with. The next question is, “Will you step up in obedience and start a mentoring relationship that will bless your socks off?” I hope you do, you will never regret it, I haven’t!
 
Kathi Brixey
“Myth Buster”
 
CHALLENGED TO THE CORE
P.O. BOX 414
LAKE ARROWHEAD, CA. 92352-0414