Challenged To The Core - Del Brixey

Love and faithfulness are great qualities to possess in our lives because physical beauty and infatuation are really only skin deep; they fade over time. Whereas love and faithfulness, are the glue that holds relationships together every single day. If cared for properly, they also flourish, providing deep roots for stability and shade for the dry times. Recently, my daughter and her fiancée told me that at the last several weddings they have attended, the pastors each preached a message of “doom and gloom” about the trials they would face as a couple. Then after acknowledging that much of what the pastors had shared was true, it just wasn’t what “they” wanted “me” to dwell on during “their” ceremony. I quickly assured both of them that I would take their concerns under advisement as I prepared the message for their ceremony; okay I promised my little girl that I would cater to her every wish or something close to that while preserving my dignity. However, for their benefit and yours I want to share some of the pitfalls that I believe that every couple will face in some form or fashion in their marriage. Because even though a marriage brings us together, from the moment we say “I do” until the day that we die, life will try to destroy our marriages. You may successfully navigate the minefields of wedding planning and make it through an array of obstacles on your special day, but there are a few honeymoon horror stories that offer us a somewhat amusing picture of the proverbial “doom and gloom” that can lurk in the shadows. Remember, the key is to fill your relationship with love and faithfulness so all you need is the “happy” sermon at your wedding.

Lost luggage…

As much as we might think that clothes are not important on a honeymoon, just try to console a bride who has waited her whole life for this special moment. Hopefully, it hasn’t happened to you, but there are not enough customer service agents in the entire world that can make up for this unfortunate turn of events. However, a couple can avert much of their disappointment by carrying the essentials with them in their carry-on bags. The same is true for the emotional “luggage” or “baggage”, especially if it’s a second marriage. A couple needs to sit down with a qualified counselor to uncover the essentials necessary for a great marriage and lose the rest of their “luggage” before the big day or at least deal with it in an appropriate manner. If they don’t take the time to carefully sort things out, they will eventually have to face the issues when life is not so grand, when tempers are hot and nerves are frayed. A little work on the front end of their marriage will result in a smoother life on down the road.

Inclement weather…

Bad weather can dampen the spirits of the heartiest traveler, but seasoned travelers understand the benefits of being prepared for anything. Since no one is able to predict the weather with one hundred percent accuracy, you need to pack for the unexpected Storm Watch 2009. When inclement weather rears its ugly head in a marriage, things go terribly wrong. The stress brought on by unforeseen storms can reveal the hidden cracks in a relationship. Couples need a sturdy roof of “love and faithfulness” to shelter them until the weather changes. That’s why it’s important to have a long engagement. Over time, a couple will experience problems so they can learn how to face them with unmitigated courage. It’s much easier to learn how to swim in the safety of a pool with lifeguards all around than it is to swim through shark infested waters in the middle of the ocean.

Flawed accommodations...

Hotels, resorts and even “B&B’s”, all look better when viewing professional pictures that have been airbrushed or taken on the best day of the year for their brochures. Reservations can be lost or remodeling projects started just before you arrive leaving you stranded or very disappointed. Some friends of ours recently returned to the “hide-away” where they had spent their romantic honeymoon some twenty years ago. During the middle of the night they awoke to sound of little feet, actually it was hundreds of little feet. When they turned on the lights, little creatures were running everywhere. To say the least, it was a memorable experience, but not one they want to repeat anytime soon! Couples must have a mutually agreed upon plan which details the kind of life they wish to have and how they plan to achieve it. Too many couples want the same lifestyle that took their parents years to achieve, right after the honeymoon. For some, it’s achievable, but for most people it will take years of hard work to get there. Unrealistic expectations of how you will live can be disastrous.

Empty wallets…

Exotic places are fun to visit, but they come with a high price tag. I know of several couples who have spent everything they had on transportation and lodging in paradise, only to realize that they had no money left to enjoy anything else on their trip. They were flat broke, in a fantastic location, watching other people enjoy the things that they couldn’t afford to do. Life isn’t about money, but it does take money to live. Couples contemplating marriage need to know how they are going to finance their life. Sure, life is going to throw you a curve ball or two, but that doesn’t replace the need to be responsible. The trend in our society is for married children to move back home with their parents. Sometimes it’s out of a real financial hardship, but sometimes it’s just the result of poor planning. Unfortunately, I have experienced both in my life, but God is good and we are able to ask and receive forgiveness.

Okay, that’s enough “doom and gloom” for one day, it’s time for me to start working on a positive and uplifting ceremony for my daughter and future son-in-law. But before I do, I want to encourage you to check your pulse this week to see if “love and faithfulness” are a mainstay in your marriage and in your relationships with others. If we “bind them” around our necks by what we “say” and then “write them” on the tablet of our heart by what we “do” we can “savor the favor” of God and “claim the name” of a good life in our homes and communities. That’s a sure-fire way to overcome any “doom and gloom” that life may bring our way.

Del Brixey
“Savor the Favor” & “Claim the Name”

CHALLENGED TO THE CORE
P.O. BOX 414
LAKE ARROWHEAD, CA 92352-0414

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