| PULSE CHECK |
| "PULSE" - "the
sentiments, opinions, or attitudes current among the public or a
particular group." |
 |
"CHECK" - "to
examine something in order
to establish its state or condition." |
"PULSE
CHECK" - is a weekly reminder from CHALLENGED TO THE CORE
encouraging you to take time "to
examine your sentiments, opinions, or attitudes in order to establish
the state or condition of your life."
|
September
1, 2009
BEYOND THE VOWS: STEP
TWO
“And
the things you have heard me say
in
the presence of many witnesses entrust
to
reliable men who will also be qualified
to
teach others.” 2 Timothy 2:2
When
I came home one night a note was taped
to the front door of my apartment, my girl friend was asleep on the
couch and
her best friend had crashed in the bedroom. It wasn’t quite what I had
expected
after an exhausting day at work, but nothing in my life was turning out
to be normal.
You grow up believing that your life will be “this” or “that” and one
day you
wake up realizing that “this” or “that” will never be because of “here”
and
“now”. All of this happened on a Wednesday in September of 1972. The
details
are less important than the fact that three days later, on Saturday
afternoon,
two young idealistic teenagers were standing before a minister getting
married.
There were no extenuating circumstances, no hidden secrets or other
outside
pressures responsible for our decision. We chose our course in life
because
that’s what people do. Sometimes we taste the sweet rewards of wise
choices,
but occasionally we must sip from the bitter cup of our own stupidity.
My wife
and I will celebrate our thirty-seventh anniversary of that fateful day
this
year. We dwell on the good times, not the bad. We remember with joy,
how our
faith in God sustained us through our darkest hours. But perhaps more
importantly we look forward to the future with a confidence far greater
than we
had at eighteen. We were able to compensate for our weaknesses and
capitalize
on our strengths because God provided us with the best “on the job
training”
(OJT). He took our mistakes, mixed them with wise counsel, and guided
our
footsteps along the way. Perhaps you have made a few errors in judgment
in your
marriage as well. Whereas “step one” in our ministry provides
pre-marital
training, “step two” is OJT designed for life beyond the vows.
Tweak
it…
When
an expensive piece of machinery
breaks down at a factory, management pulls out all the stops to bring
it back
on line. Sometimes a complete overhaul is necessary, but most of the
time all a
mechanic needs to do is “tweak it” to get it whirling away again at
full speed.
Forgive the comparison of your marriage to an inanimate pile of metal
on a shop
floor, but doesn’t it make sense? There are some marriages that need
the
assistance of specialized counselors that can aid them with the
complicated reconstruction
of their life (a complete overhaul), but most of our marriages just
need a
little “tweaking.” Our marriages are not off in a ditch somewhere
waiting for a
tow truck. We are able to navigate the highway of life using our GPS
system
(God’s Perfect Scripture), but over time we need a tune-up to improve
our
performance. A kick in the pants, a pat on the shoulder or a nudge in
the right
direction can make all the difference between surviving and thriving.
Woo
it…
The
term “wooing” is not used much in our
society today, although at one time or another we have all done it
whether we
knew it or not. Wooing is the art of pursuing or courting someone we
love. Most
of us can remember writing love notes, sending flowers or buying little
gifts
for our spouses before we got married. Some of us have been more
successful at
continuing the process over the long haul, but life does tend to get in
the way
for the rest of us. It’s like going to your favorite restaurant, if the
food is
good you are willing to overlook an occasional experience with poor
service,
but over time the inattention of the wait staff becomes too much to
bear. When
we fail to woo our spouse two things begin to happen. First, the embers
of our
love start to cool. Our desire to spend time with our spouse becomes
less and
less of a priority. Soon we are living two separate lives under one
roof.
Secondly, we start to open the door of our relationship, exposing the
vulnerability of our situation. The vows we took on our wedding day
begin to
fade against the bright colors of temptation we see beyond the door.
The possibility
that true love may be found in someone besides our spouse becomes
overwhelming.
Don’t be fooled. A momentary lapse in good judgment can be very
expensive. On
the other hand wooing doesn’t have to be expensive; it just needs to be
practiced on a regular basis in little ways that convey the message
that you
are still in love with your spouse. Now that’s money well spent.
Order
it...
The
internet has given us the opportunity
to order almost anything for delivery to our door. With a few clicks of
our
mouse we can order anything from A to Z. But we need to take a few
moments to analyze
our purchases, over the internet or down the street, because they can
reveal
the true priorities in our life. You see, how we spend our money is a
truer
reflection of our heart than the words that come out of our mouth. If
we are
serious about improving our marriages, we must order our priorities;
God first,
our marriage second and then everything else. Did you notice that
children, our
families and the church don’t even make the top two? That’s because
they are
not as important as the other two. If our relationship with God and our
spouse are
in order, the rest of our life will fall into place, just not in first
or
second place. So many couples, who are having difficulties in their
relationship, start rearranging this critical lineup to cope with the
pain in
their life. Wives tend to put their children before their spouse,
whereas
husbands turn to their jobs for fulfillment or an affair. It’s not
right; it’s
just the reality of a marriage that’s out of order.
OJT
is an ongoing process in a marriage that
will never be finished on this side of heaven. As you check your pulse
this
week take some time to listen to the engine of your marriage. If all is
well,
give your spouse a great big juicy kiss and celebrate. If you see the
need to
“tweak it”, “woo it” or “order it”, give your spouse a great big juicy
kiss and
celebrate the fact that God is speaking to your heart before it’s too
late.
Don’t listen to the voices in your head or outside of your marriage
that say
that OJT is for sissies. OJT is just a fact of life for any couple that
wants
to experience God’s best beyond the
vows.
Del
Brixey
“Living
Beyond the Vows”
CHALLENGED
TO THE CORE
P.O.
BOX 414
LAKE
ARROWHEAD, CA 92352-0414
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